Not had a proper post in a while, thought it was a little overdue. Was thinking about life and our prospects. What we hold dear and what we choose to discard. Things we plan for, hope for, work for and things we dread.
Honestly, what is the world coming to now? People break into fights with each other over what exactly? Someone said or did something to your best friend's cousin's sister's boyfriend so you must "defend your friends"
I'm sorry, who do you think you are? You have no fucking reason to be angry nor do you have any legit reason for battering lumps out each other. There are other people in this world that have far better reasons than you to get mad and yet we don't go about like that. We sit quiet as always, forever ignored and overlooked. Hell if we had a fight, you'd be dead in seconds. So don't you dare turn round and try and give yourself a reason because you are just a bunch of pathetic Show offs. Oh I can fight cause I'm tough, no you can't so sit down you little cunt! Go back to your Call Of Duty game, for fucksake and give us all some peace/
And Rich kids too. They don't value life. By rich i don't mean just have money. I'm talking about little posh bastards that Mummy and Daddy have given them every fucking thing possible and they're still not grateful. Got into Oxford and not Eaton so they run away and cry. Toughen up ya wee prick! Make your life your own and stop using your Daddy's credit card. They have no values or realistic terms in life. They don't know about Homelessness or being without food for two days. Having everything in your possession smashed and broken. Having no heating, no hot running water. No money. No job. Gangs, Taxes, Council Estates, Illness, the NHS....They don't have this shit to deal with so why should we! Pick yourself up and make your own life without relying on your parents money. It's not what's important!
We should hold onto Hope. We should Get rid of Doubt. I actually came up with a little saying last night at quarter to three. Yes, I tend to get inspired around that time on sleepless nights before exams:
Today is a day of Weakness. Today is a day of Doubt.
But tomorrow will be better
And of that, I have no Doubt.
heh, not bad for in the middle of the night, eh? It's pretty accurate and its how I made it through last night. Unsurprisingly, I got very frustrated with my Chemistry studying and then couldn't sleep. To top it all off, those are the kind of bad times when I would go to my Mum. And that's what set off the crying no doubt. You can send yourself to pretty dark places in the middle of the night with nothing to wake up to. And all of that set off the craving for the fags again. Hm, I'm not doing very well am I?
We should hold our Loved ones dear as well. I don't know just how many things I would take back and do differently with my Mum. Like when she was ill, just cause she got better I should've been there. Last time we coherently talked it was on the phone. And that's as painful as a stab through the heart now. I should have been there in person. But even so, just those few short moments on the phone with her, just casually chatting is enough to keep me sane. So please, if you have ill or sick relatives or even if they're fine, DON'T WASTE A SECOND. I would take back all the fights. I'd give up everything just to have a 5 minute conversation with her now. Don't take love for granted!
Hate is another thing. People are so bitter so easily over the stupidest things. Why can't we just be happy for each other!!! For example, when you see your Exes, I can bet NO ONE smiles or smiles honestly. After bad things happen, you start to see who really does matter. We may be young but it doesn't mean nothing is unforgivable. Some things are. Look after each other better. Society has a lack of this now which is pretty damn sad. There used to be a time when we would sacrifice ourselves just to make sure our friends and family saw the next daylight. Where has this bond gone?
We should hold onto our strength. Some people think its "amazing" that I'm still doing my exams after my Mum. But its not "amazing" It's just strength. If I personally couldn't do it, I would fear for myself as a person. You need that kind of strength in life because there will always be people who disagree and who bring up problems. You have to be ready for that. It's a cruel uncaring world out there. You have to be prepared for hate.
Another thing: Just because you fight doesn't mean you don't love each other. Everyone fights. So what if one screwed up?! There's not a soul on this earth that hasn't not done something wrong, something they regret. I have thousands of those moments. I would change them if I could. As Eminem puts it, My insecurities could eat me alive. I have bad traits that I'm not proud of in fact they disgust me, I disgust me. But I know no one else is perfect either so I accept it.
So onlookers, stop judging someone. They may have done bad and you have to forgive, not forget NEVER forget but Forgive. As best as you can. Don't judge unless you are prepared to be judged. Harshly, might I add. I understand you are protecting your friend but you can't change how things are. If someone's in love they just are. Why should it matter how bad the person they love is? No one else plays by the rule book so why the fuck should we have to?
Love is Love. End of.
I'll finish this on a lighter note, some Eminem I think.
Check this shit:
Keep your spirits up, people. Peace out x
Dearest, darkeyes great post , but i was a little concerned when you said your not doing to well i could sense that in your post, i understand what your going through my father died april4 of this year at the age of 78, i wish their was a way i could talk to you outside of the blog comment box ,but write if you need to my email is jacmania_live@hotmail.com. Be strong sweet darkeyes your friend across the pond - Jac!
ReplyDeleteIts me again just another comment, you mention how people expected you to be disabled after your mother's passing the same thing happened to me when my father passed everyone acted as if something was wrong with me because i was still happy and upbeat i still continued moving on with my life respectful of the circumstances
ReplyDeletebut still living my life. Some people even got mad at me but i told them i will grieve for the loss and i will honor their death, but i wont live their death,let the dead be with the dead and the living with the living. I choose to honor,and respect my father by succeeding, let me hear from you darkeyes- Jac!