Temporary Farewell

Do not fret my dear readers, for I will be back perhaps sometime in the new year. I need some breathing space right now at this moment in time. A lot of things happened today and they will have repercussions for the near future and the far away future. I've come to a point in my life where I feel everything I love has been unfairly stolen from me and I cannot deal with this prospect. So I'm trying to cut down on the internet use for the latter part of this God awful year and I'll keep my head down and study until it's over. There's not much else I can do now. I've gotten into a bad state today something in particular I hope never becomes a habit like the cutting; It could have led to much much worse and I'm pretty stupid for doing it. My Mum would be very disappointed and that is one thing I certainly did not set out to do in life. I want to make her proud and I'm finding it hard to cope with every situation cropping up. I seem to always speak too soon on this blog and I find that difficult to stomach - Hey, I'm a pessimist - And I find it hard, despite what I said in the previous post, to forgive and make peace with myself. You see today me and J broke up -but it's more than a break up to me. It's another part of my heart stolen. And one cannot live without a whole heart never mind no heart.

So I'm giving myself a break. I know I can never recover from the events in this year for the rest of my life and beyond, they will haunt me. But one cannot live in the past no matter how hard we try to cling on. I'm not sure where I see myself in life anymore. Career, family all such things have just disappeared in the click of someone's fingers from my mind. After what I did today, I'm not even sure I see myself in life at all. But that's another matter all together

Maybe the apocalypse will occur on 21st December 2012. I'd welcome it with open arms.
Less time waiting to see Mum.
Goodbye for now readers, I will be back soon

xxx

When they're away you just wait for them to get back

Hey readers,
I feel I am obligated to write to you more, especially since it is Summer, I have a lot more free time and I've neglecting this blog quite a bit. So here we go, here we fucking go...
Sorry, Song references are so tempting nowadays...


Anyways, I feel I have not mentioned J enough or in much detail to be honest. Well maybe I have and I rant about him endlessly and just don't realise. If that happens to be the case, send me some meds, I may be needing them....One bottle's fine.


So, as I was saying, before I rudely interrupted myself (is it possible to do that to yourself?) but anyways, you may or may not already know the deal that J's parents don't like me and he's not even allowed to talk on the phone until after his 2 week holiday which he's not even on yet! So I am very bored and lonely...


Couples will know what I mean with this. You have this terrible pull to be with them and you can't and thats really horrible, like mental torture...
I suppose you have to be thankful that they're alive and healthy and not dead...
APPRECIATE YOUR LOVED ONES! <3


But yes, he is a 5ft7 blondie who used to have lovely blonde curls but he keeps getting raped by scissors! Which if I'm honest makes me very sad....I really like the curls *sobs*
And he's a total gayboy wimp. Yes, I'm kidding. *whispers* I'm really not!*
Haha. Nah. He is a big softie and lovely and a wee charming prick. Really he's a wee charmer. Like his daddy ahaha No. I'm kidding. He's just a wee charmer.


I'm wondering if it's only me that has problematic in-laws?
I doubt it. There's probably a sect of them all. Scattered across the earth...
WE MUST DESTROY THEM! D:


bye xxx






P.S this is "our song" y'know couples have a song... So here it is

<3